Even with the best roommates, conflicts arise. Expect them to
happen. Frequently, you’ll see arguments between roommates occur
during February; it’s the halfway point between Winter Break and Spring
Break. But when tensions rise, stay calm, and follow these tips.
Show Respect
Your roommate will have different tastes in music, clothes, friends,
television programs. And that’s OK. Don’t complain about him, don’t
gossip about her. Stick up for your roommates, because you are all in
this thing together.
Be Understanding
Your roommate may be unreasonable at times, but there’s no need to
contact your RA and ask for a room change. College students have
stressful weeks. It’s also possible that your roommate may be dealing
with a personal situation back home. The argument probably has nothing to do
with you, so it keep it that way and don’t take it personally.
Be Friendly
Invite your roommate when you go out at night. Invite your roommate to
lunch or dinner. Even if he or she continues to decline, keep inviting
your roommate. If you have company in your room, personally introduce
your roommate to everyone. Be aware, however, that companionship
breeds rivalry; share your friends but have a few that your roommate
would never hang out with.
Be Considerate
If your roommate is going to bed, turn off the music (use headphones).
If it’s particularly early in the evening, go in another room or
greatly reduce the volume. If your roommate has a major test the
following morning, move the party into the hall. If your roommate’s
upset about something, leave her alone for a while.
Be Open-Minded
People enjoy unusual activities, like knitting, listening to rap, or
watching TBS. Living with a roommate is a learning experience.
Remember, polar opposites attract. And you may find a new interest.
Be Honest
People make mistakes, like accidentally throwing out your roommate’s
biology notebook. Confess and apologize profusely. Offer to do what
you can to solve the problem (pay for and photocopy the notes of another student). You’ll probably never hear the end of
it, but your roommate will know you can be trusted.
A successful negotiation involves being cooperative, considerate, and non-threatening.
If something bothers you, negotiate. Find a solution that both people
can agree on. “Can you turn your music down tonight? You can play it
all you want tomorrow night.” Or “Can you pause the movie until I
finish this chapter?” Sometimes, you may have to deal with your
roommate’s little annoying quirks, but you’re probably annoying, too.
Don’t Take Without Giving
Need some napkins, ask your roommate, then buy him napkins next time you’re at the store.
Give When You Can, but Don’t Expect to be Repaid
She may take your napkins all the time, big deal. Napkins are cheap. Be the bigger person in the situation.
Avoid Borrowing
Did you forget to bring a stapler or hair dryer? Go get your own.
Your roommate may offer what you need, but don’t rely on him or her.
Besides, most people have trouble saying “no.”
Don’t Take Sides
Your roommate may be breakuping with his girlfriend, but don’t go on about
how annoying she was. Knowing college students, they’ll probably be
back together the following week. You can openly dislike someone, but
don’t state an opinion based on what your roommate has told you.
Respect Property & Space
If you have to move something, move it carefully. Don’t eat chips
on her bed. Don’t place your clothes on his chair.
Provide Warning When Entering Your Room
It’s college, people have sex. And guys do things when they don’t have
a girlfriend around. So open the door slowly, or knock, before
entering your room. If you find your roommate changing or sitting
naked in front of his computer, resist the urge to grab a camera.
Leave the room, visit a buddy, have a Coke; do something else for a few
minutes.
Take Informative & Complete Phone Messages
Grab an index card and jot down who called, when they called, their
phone number, the reason for calling, and when to call back. When the
calls get too frequent and you begin to feel like a secretary, plug in
an answering machine or set up voice mail.
Get Your Own Computer
Best Buy sells cheap ones. Don’t even consider asking your roommate to
use her’s to write a paper. And what if you start browsing the web, using LexisNexis for research?
You’ll be on her computer for hours, unintentionally installing spyware
while you’re at it.
Keep the Illegal Activities Out of Your Room
With many schools, if the housing department finds alcohol or marijuana
in the rooms, both roommates are disciplined. Some schools implement a
“zero-tolerance” policy, in which case both roommates will be asked to leave
the university. |
